The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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