That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
