oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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