apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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