You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
