sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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