Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
vagina is talking i cant
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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