Your tits are I can't wait for
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
