The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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