Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
