i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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