Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
