You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
