tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
