Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
