and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
