i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
