did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
