I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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