I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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