you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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