i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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