Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I will be naked everywhere
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
