Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize