this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Randomize
