I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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