we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
