The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
