420 ftw
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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