I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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