But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
