So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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