you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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