my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
