I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
