I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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