He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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