Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
