We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
