Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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