i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
