Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
