just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
