i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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