I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize