Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
