Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
