just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize