Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
