You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
