Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
