my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
