That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
