He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
