If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
