your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
