People with herpes should wear stickers.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
