drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
