O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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