Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
