What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
