So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
