tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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