omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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